May Day 2009

May Day 2009 begins with a tiny squall off the coast. Clouds roll in pushing, nudging and jockeying ready to drop their vapor on to the unsuspecting environment. The air is heavy with moisture and the black beast in the driveway has been prancing with the atmospheric dunking. Coming from a drought affected region to these regular coastal showers have been a bonus and great cleansing to boot.

We'd planned to take the Ferry across the Bay to the Tea Gardens this morning. This trip was planned to catch a glimpse of dolphins scooting through the wake. I'm not sure if this is going to remain on the day's agenda. If it does it will be wonderful if not then we'll catch them next trip.

Yesterday was sprinkled with domesticity and retail therapy. The evening meal was held at my niece's place in a tiny Novacastrian suburb. She's newly married to him best friend and their wedded bliss echoes harmoniously throughout their home. Love, respect and joy drip from the cornices and the good cooked by her tiny delicate hands was laced with love. The conversation flowed like the ambrosia of the evening and we all kissed and hugged and promised to keep in touch.

The Leo Moon greets us today. She is in her regal phase. Leo is the fifth house of creativity and romance. A perfect time to connect with our inner muse – don't you think?

It's the first day of May – a new month – a month of changes (visit: www.jestacom.biz – Harlequin's Haven for a more in depth discussion of the numerology of the month). Today however is imbued with the energy of a number eight day. The two circles of the eight, constantly seek balance and harmony encouraging a state of perpetual motion.

The Sun is bracing firm against the castles of clouds – pushing his golden streams over the turrets stretched out in the sky. It is like the golden orb is forcing a path of redemption – stomping his authority on the final day of our holiday – seducing us out into the Bay for one more display of Nature's pantomime.

It has been a wonderful retreat this week. All of my basic needs have been met with perfect precision. Dreams have rescinded into a healing shroud and catapulted into futuristic prophecies. I've had the opportunity to recover my balance, rejuvenated my spirit and once again rediscover who I am. My priorities have been realigned. And yesterday as I gazed into my reflection in the mirror my thoughts flashed through a myriad of synapses. The destination revealed a smug, "Yes I do like you, Julia" – mission accomplished.

Happy May Day,

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Our best Year Yet!

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." Eleanor Roosevelt

Today is the last day of April. Another month has flicked past at a great rate of knots. In the early hours of this morning I dreamt that I had just come home from a shopping spree and all of the clothes, shoes and hand bags were sprawled on my bed. I was trying on each new item and twirling around in excitement – delighted in the feeling of the new purchases. I felt alive, vibrant and did not wish to spoil the moment with fear or be inhibited by the desire to look and feel good. I wanted to present the most vivacious "Julia" to the world. My husband entered the room with a tall glass of crystal clear water and said, "if you drink this you will always remember this moment." I drank from the water and was infused with confidence. Smiling I said, "This is our best year of ever."

I came out of the dream this morning and reached for the water glass beside my bed and woke up remembering every aspect of the dream. Yes, this is going to best year ever! And I am not going to allow the recession or negative press messages of doom and gloom spoil that dream.

Last night before sleep I was reading my novel, "Holy Cow", by Sarah Macdonald. One of the final paragraphs was a positive reminder of my internal navigation system. Essentially the passage said, "In India we appreciate that we are not as poor or oppressed as the people beneath them but westerners are always craving more." I agree with this statement as we are constantly aspiring to reach someone else's dream or life purpose. Instead of taking stock and appreciating what we've got. Today I am grateful for what I have. I am also aware that my bounty is fathomless. I refuse to live by another person's agenda for I create my joy with my mind, words and actions.

The essence of a number nine day is empowerment, resolution and completion. This week of retreat has had many therapeutic benefices. One of the most potent remedies has been the deep healing within and the reminder of how powerful my dreams are. No one should treat on our dreams and we should take them with us in every step of our journey.

The same can be said for ensuring that our self esteem is positive and healthy. No one has the right to rob us of our confidence and impact on our self esteem. It doesn't matter how disillusioned they are with their life or personal disappointments we mustn't allow them to project their negative reflection on to us.

Today we must rise above the negativity and glide across the ocean mist of discontent and bask in the glory of our dreams – it is our best year yet!

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Visit: www.jestacom.biz

Gaia comes to town…

The lovers encourage communication and speaking from the heart. The Hierophant is wisdom personified. The Moon glistens with her creative verve while the Empress begs for the coming of a new phase – all shiny and new. The moon offers creativity and loyalty to the ingenious, imaginative aspects of my soul. The Gemini moon phase coupled with the seriousness and commitment of a number six day augurs a responsibility to the insatiable muse within.

There is an unfriendly link between mars and Pluto this week. It is potentiality volatile boom clash watch out for the fall out – be ware the coming meteor shower of destruction and metamorphosis. Be cautious do not engage in arguments or future regretfulness.

It is the third day of our holiday and I am ready to start making plans for the week. I don't want it to diminish into oblivion. The bruises from the work encounters are fading and a healing is taking place. I am looking forward to a time of rest and rejuvenation; now some engaging interludes, activities that will add spices to our banquet.

We have had a great time so far – a little walking some resting, reading and writing – all of the important action verbs that season the perfect holiday. I am feeling wonderful, relaxed and content – now some little spicy bits the week to add some flavors to the ambrosia of the week. What are your plans this week?

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Today beckons!

Have you ever gazed into a puddle and saw your reflection and wondered who is that rippling back at me? Have you stood naked in front of a mirror and searched discriminately at the vision and thought, "where did I go?" Have you ever had the days, weeks and months to do what ever you wanted and though, what will I do today? As Louis Freund says, "You can finish a painting, but how do you finish a career?"

What happens when your dreams come true and you get to a new phase and contemplate, what next, what is it I truly want to do?

Over my life I've been driven by my internal combustion engine (desire). I've thought about/dreamt about what I wanted to achieve and in most cases sealed the deal on those goals and dreams. Fortunately for me I've been able to motivate others to share in that vision. My power of persuasion has been effective for the big goals/dreams I couldn't consider tackling on my own.

Is it the insatiable desire within me that keeps me racing toward a new vision? Why do so many people get to the summit and take in the view and stay there contented and say, "well this will do!"

I don't understand but respect their point of view. Over the past three months I've ticked off my wish list of goals accomplished. I've reached a place and recognized that this is where I dreamed/planned of being 12 months ago. I planted the seeds in my new moon wishes and watered them daily nurturing them, picked out the weeds and waiting for the tiny green shoots to appear. Now my garden grows abundantly with blooms and aromatic floral garlands.

As I sit here and gaze out across the landscape of my life, I satisfy in the glorious beauty of my realm. I have arrived.

The Hierophant casts a dutiful glance over my world – don't rush child, there is plenty of time for you to conquer the next exciting episode.

The Star offers her glowing presence – inspiring me to bask in the glory of love and beauty. Gaze at the flowers and see their smiling faces – delight in the squawk of the cockatoos and galahs. Don’t' stray too far from your inner truth – or get waylaid at an alternate path.

The Hermit is deliberate in his journey of discernment. Take care with each step and don't loose your balance.

The Empress has labored over my spread night and day – a new phase is born – here is your babe.

The freshness of a new phase envelopes me – I've sat and basked in the glory of self-actualization long enough now it is time to stride a new path toward the mansion of my dreams. What adventures will I encounter? Well I am not sure. I do know however, that I'll share them with you in Julia's Journal. We've shared so much over these past few months. I've been vulnerable and hurting and sometimes lost. Through the writing process I've reclaimed me – capturing my essence and celebrating victory.

When you gaze into the puddle or at your own reflection; realize that the inner you or your soul is definitely you! We can transform our outer layers and geographically move – we always take you – with you!

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Summer is over!

A giant paint can spilled across the sky this morning with crimson, pink and golden tint. High above the ridge flocks of cockatoos' float past like moveable specks in a tapestry. It is a work day and the support of the Capricorn Moon will ensure a productive jettison to the weekend. We are still under the influence of an Aries Sun phase so there is energy to burn. A fresh vibrancy is injected into my creed – another day of doing my best. As Evan Wines suggests, "Nothing gets old but your clothes. Only giving up and giving in makes you old." That reminds me to check out the sales on the way home from work!

The dust has settled from the huge windstorm last night. Canberra was coated in a layer of red brown film. The atmosphere laden in gritty smog clung to our skin, eyes and surely infiltrated our lungs. Above the dusty vestibule the sparkle of the Telstra Tower shimmered with a tincture of sun beam that whispered, "I'm off to bed, catch you again in the morning."

Our yard was littered with tiny triangle-shaped leaves from the maples. Is this a sign? The same leaves that boasted diamond coats a few days ago were strewn around the landing. Crunching under my feet as I sought my exodus from the house screeching, "Summer is over!"

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Dream machine…

Our garden in beaming with the liquid sustenance dripping from tiny leaves and delicately coating the exquisite leaves of tiny plants; the three maples outside my window appear to be decorated with diamond lace coats – layer upon layer.

Rain has brought a dose of hope to the Territory. The celestial wishing well has produced a layering of liquid hope. Along with this symbolic drenching Venus has turned direct (planet of love and relationships) after a long period of retrograde cycle (thank you, Venus). Now we can expect some calm ad a dignified course of action with significant others. Therefore, the major makeover you've been planning can finally get the green light. So step up clutching that stimulus cheque its time to get stimulated.

Me, I'm off to the shops to do my best to rescue the economy. After all it is my duty as a proud Australian to spend; spend; spend. I have to admit that I've been rallying ever since this negative tidal wave – "the recession" has hit the news - to do my ever loving best to keep this country afloat. Let's tick off the list together, clothes – check – jewellery – check, new car – check - a new computer – check – root canal therapy – ouch – check – did I mention clothes?

Furthermore, I've spanned my stimulus across country and propped up other States like New South Wales and Victoria with a trip to Ballarat for the John Lennon Exhibition – good food, massages and of course some well deserved beauty therapy and a little hair tint for good measure. Shall we say the essentials of life?

So now my fellow Aussies it's up to you to get excited and spend those payments on sometime that will keep your Aussie mates in a job. Don't you think?

I do have a confession to make here – I don't think that there is a recession. Actually, my power of the mind is creating a wealthy nation, abundantly proud and creative. W are Australians' after all? When are we at our best? When we are pushed down a hell hole and have to clamber out again? I know that there are lots of people out of work. I know that there are many families struggling. I believe we are taught to be resilient and adaptable – that we must lift our eyes up to the horizon and look forward to a better day. The more we buy into the media generated negative sensationalism, the more we continue to perpetuate a negative outcome.

My philosophy won't allow that to be a part of my personal rhetoric. I have to remain focused on the glass half full. I am grateful for what I have. I don't wallow in the glass half empty instead I give thanks for my life as it is. Then I create a vision of what lies beyond the horizon. What is that magical world? What does it look like? Who will be there? How does it feel? And guess what, you are all with me! How groovy is that? Now you need to get on board my dream machine and join me in the realm of possibilities. All aboard!

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Turtle time

Temperance flew out of the deck. She was determined to be present. Front and centre. She has been missing from my morning spread recently but now after the recent cosmic shenanigans it’s a reminder to stay calm and rsie about the chaos.

The Devil represents freedom from oppression. He is the centre card and the dark repulsive presence in my life. Devil reminds me of the shadow side of our nature – the anger, resentment and jealous aspects.

Venus stands boldly d yet vulnerable in her garland of ripe fruit pointing upward. Calm, resolute and confident the worst is behind you now she the unwanted layers and grab the bounty of your wisdom. Collect the abundant treasures of your experience and savor the sweet elixir of success.

It’s a number nine day – a day of resolution and empowerment. It is the perfect time to acknowledge accomplishments of the past. File away the lessons and prepare for the new phase – take a breath and bask in the glory of a job well done.

Each phase is a learning opportunity in this earth school. We get p each day refreshed and ready to take our satchel into the world. Evolve or die – or maybe a little of both is the daily creed.

Some people are fast learners ticking the box with jet propulsion of hyper speed – others plodding one step at-a-time barley raising their head out of the cave of solitude.

Today I will take the turtle route and savor each breath – what about you?

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Seven dolphins dancing

The aroma of fresh percolated coffee beckons me out of a strange dream. I was performing a ballet dance in a small studio. Standing at the practice bar was in a square formation and beneath the square was a huge ocean marine pool.

Swimming around the pool were large fish, sting ray and two sharks. I became fascinated with he sharks, not frightened as I've inclined to be all of my life. I wanted to see them closer, swim with them and even play with them but the ballet teacher insisted we leave the studio and walk the nearby sand hills stressing that it will be good for our legs.

As we tramped over sand I became despondent, I wanted to get closer to the sharks – I kept think what are they doing – why must I leave? After a while I realized how fresh the air was beyond the dunes. The sun was kissing the ocean with a lover's embrace I looked up and saw seven dolphins rise up in the waves twirling their bodies around to a silent symphony orchestrated by Poseidon. I squatted on the sand hills and erupted into raucous laughter acknowledging that I had to move away from the sharks to revel in the dolphin dance of joy.

Good dream isn't it? Now I sit in awe of the minutest details of my hand and even breach out into my surroundings. My nails and the shape captivate my imagination. It's like I am on some magical mystery tour intoxicated by the power of the dream. Each letter or stroke I write screams a spellbinding significance. Each sentence takes me further away from my former life.

Maybe that is the hidden message of the dream? I had to move away from the ballet school to rediscover my dance of joy? The creative and inspirational aspects of me have been doing the exercises and the ballet bar which surrounds the shark pool below?

Here I am liberated from work and the ritual of daily routines all of a sudden my imagination and inventiveness flow – fuelled by the presence of the dolphins.

It is Tuesday and the moon is linked in harmony with my natal Gemini moon. It's the first day of my lunar return and I consider what a great gift the dream has become - a royal rite of passage to celebrate the new phase; a perfect synchronous timing to create an awareness of change – cracking open the sphere of fear that lies within my soul.

Yesterday we drove around the area discovering new places and visiting some nostalgic childhood neighborhoods. After that sojourn back in time we ventured in the shopping complex for more food, supplies and a little retail foraging. Lunch was developed at home followed by an afternoon nap – a vibrant and revitalizing walk before dinner and some movie tie – holidays are fantastic aren't they?

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

New Moon wishes

The growling of the beast beneath the rubber of the road turning my wheels humming a seductive lullaby takes me further from my residence. A grey/black sky littered with sequins, red tail lights on a road to escape. An upside down saucepan, a glittery cross engulfs the southern sky – nostalgic songs tempt me back to dreams of the past. Where did they go? Did I loose them in the race for recognition and validation? Crystal palaces and broken promises tug at my heart where have you been woman/child? Terror clutches at my soul what if I don't make it before I get old? Drops of Jupiter spin round my mind – it doesn't matter – I can always take it with me when I go!

It's a new Moon in Taurus at 1:22pm today – a time to plant seeds (aka wishes and dreams). What if your future is now? Then the wishing time is done, isn't it? The serenity of the Venusians' influence offers respite and a glint of escape from the demanding drum of a hectic life.

We travelled overnight to an ocean retreat, surrounded by family and a new member of the tribe. I feel replete. We have a week to bond and get back on our feet Find a balance between work and duty – shush the rumblings of the insatiable beast.

In the stillness of the morning before the others have stirred I find a quiet corner, pristine and perfect. My thoughts are able to graze along a fresh misty haze – I retreat within and capture promises, passion and desires buried under daily rituals of agendas from a busy schedule. These moments are mine – pure, alive and divine.

Climbing the stairs a conversation with those who aren't there reveals a gentle reminder of the depth of desire to create a world of sublime expression.

A stirring in the house – my goodness they must have hear me – others are awake – I must flee make haste and take my previous prose back to my confidante – Julia's Journal.

The sunrise splashes over the glistening aqua zone. The blue green sea regales crimson, jade and brilliant orange. Lorikeets chatter a morning serenade while I climb back into bed and real for the tools of the trade. A fresh brew and now I am ready to talk; sated by surroundings of comfort and familiarity swaddled by the call of the ocean as I languish and strain to hear the mermaid's song. I'm here to reconnect with me and rejuvenate my spirit.

Judgment is the augur of rebirth. Saturn taps his feet and looks at his watch its time to shed the baggage of the past; layering our lives with impromptu incidents and escapism jaunts that are destructive and childish.

The Fool skips to the edge of the precipice – jump you fool – its safe down here sure it's new and out of your comfort zone – there's no going back, that’s for sure. The benefactor rolls the die the Ferris wheel of life is rocking and rolling it's your turn today; all you have to do is believe. Click your heels three times and make a wish.

The secure platform of the number four day is a comfort in a sea of uncertainty. Life batters and bruises our confidence, hearts and souls – we must continue or die – that is the alternative – take a breath and rest for only a second marvel in the beauty around you – linger until the view matches you and all the wonder which is inherently you.

The struggle and pant to escape the safe harbour of normalcy is a memory. The slate is clean and the sketch unseen. I can draw till my hand becomes weary. This previous time is mine to relax and unwind – enjoy each moment or not – talk and to shop – walk and play – splash in cleansing salty replete – glide over tiny diamonds on my feet – so sublime. It's a holiday.

Peace and Love

Julia Ashton-Sayers

It's no bull...

The fiery and impetuous Aries Sun phase has made an impact on our lives.  Its annual visitation is over and the more laid back, practical and relaxed Taurus time is here.  The Hierophant influences my subconscious with his healing focus on all things pragmatic and calm.  Judgment offers rebirth and the time for emergence after the death.  It is time to review or contemplate our habits and toxic tales of the past few weeks and release the unwanted baggage and toss it to one side.

Emperor beckons me higher to the top of Olympus commanding, resolute and fractious.  The reflective phase, woman, is over it is a time to get moving there is a life beyond the realm of your philosophical meandering.

Venus and Mars are doing the foxtrot over my existence – love and money are high on the agenda.  It's a time to put up or shut up.  Instead of following the herb step outside and be an individual.

I am rested from a weekend of work, nurturing and accomplishment.  Back to work to contribute – that’s the cycle of life.

Happiness and abundance are mine for the taking.  I am entitled you know?  I have a right to be happy. So let's grab the ladle and dip into the well of magic.

A pale blue sky splashed with pink and grey clouds heralds a morning glory of spectacular entrance.  The Moon is in dreamy sing of Pisces and I am floating on a sea of reverie.  The night time cobwebs are fading from my mind and I am considering my schedule.  It's a fresh start to a new week and I am prepared to give it my all.  Lots of people to see and a spring in my step will guarantee a fantabulous week.  Don't squander a moment – gulp the nectar of life and make each moment enjoyable.  It is possible – it's no bull!

 Peace and Love,

 Julia Ashton-Sayers

 

Aroma

Have I ever described my favourite coffee cup to you?  I call it my "witchy cup". It's made of fine bone china and it boasts five witches in caricature.  A small green frog with a blue pointy hat sits squat and rolls his eyes.  This cup is gorgeous and loads of fun.  I know I could for the more traditional flowers drinking vessel but this cup and my blazing orange Mermaid one are the top of the pops.  Each morning as I struggled to enter the world from my dream state a hot brewed coffee appears on one of these mugs – magically.

Cup poised, pen ready my words float across a blank page. This ritual has been a part of my writing life for nearly fifty years.  I've always been a dreamer – my imagination a driving force and sometimes even my salvation when the coldness of reality laps at more door.  It's not that I can't be pragmatic, serious or even academic. Its just that the reative muse within remains as always my best friend.

I am inspired by my surroundings or even futuristic places.  For example I was sharing a coffee moment with a friend yesterday and planning a holiday in 2010.  She was describing the possibilities and all of the time I was focused on the view. I sensed the ambience of a new adventure, the aroma divine. No doubt you'll hear about it in future episodes of, Julia's Journal.

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Reflections

The Fool promises new beginnings and travelling light – hold on to your visions and crate the magic for your life. Step up; step up to the Ferris wheel and manifest your boldest intention.  Overnight sensations can be borne in the new millennium.

Opportunities abound are crevices appearing the granite perceptions of society.  Don't judge a book by its cover but can't you make it a little prettier?  We are breaking down the barriers of assumptions. Looks like the mean ones will have to develop a personality after all.  Reflections of Gucci and size o's won't win a ticket to the power elite.

The world has stopped long enough to watch the beauty within – sated by the insatiable lust of encore.  Beware the underlings have risen and strut their stuff.

I saw her walk on stage – mocked by the non-verbal taunts and patronizing slurs – she blew them away – anyway.  Despite her un-glam exterior the voice and grace captured the stony hearts of the audience.  

Well done Susan Boyle.

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Art for Art Sake

"Art is not a thing; it’s a way of life" Elbert Hubbard

The moon in Leo offers a creative flair to the day. Leo represents our fifth house of love and creativity. It's time to open our heart and allow the romantic side of us shine through and express or declare that playful side to ourselves. The moon shimmers her glorious lunar beams encouraging us to express the perfect portrait on our easel of life.

The Chariot takes me down two paths simultaneously. I hold on tightly to the reigns but the horses are bucking and pulling so vigorously the enthusiasm is burning deep into my palms. The scars represent dedication to my firm hold of transformation.

Strength literally means strength. The message heralds a booming voice, hold on and rise above the beast of fear and float across the landscape of regret and disappointment". It's a new day – a Sunday and a great day to sift through the self promises and boastful declarations and to sort through the accomplishments and or deceptions.

The energy of the day is a number four which motivates me to build platforms for steady advancement on my goals. I am constantly driven to achieve so much so it is ingrained in my being. Of course there are steps with grates – transparent facets of my vision which fall through the cracks of disillusionment.
Yesterday, I observed another man's obsession with his creative life. Degas, the French artist who gave us a glimpse into his world. His muse was enchanting (she even had hips". There are so many superlatives I could gush - I won't instead; I would recommend you enjoy them your own creative journey.

To be honest I think that art in its purest form is entirely in the heart of the beholder. I don't push my impressions or opinions on to others – I don't lecture others what I see or feel because for me the way that art resonates with us is individual. I believe that all forms of art touches us as unique mirrors of our own self expression. Whether our self expression is motivated by words, songs, music, paint, clay, chalk, carving wooden life-like creatures in a forest, the experience of enjoyment is individual.

I guess it is the critics or those who can't keep their opinions to themselves who are my combatants. Those who can't do are the critics of the world. I wonder where that title or role came from – I can't paint so I will be an art critic. And who is to say that someone else's story is not worthy of publication or promotion?

If a story or painting reaches into your heart and evokes an emotion how can we reject it and say it is unworthy or meaningless? Some people can look out on to a dazzling sunrise and cry with gratitude for the magnificence of a new day. They are stirred and are in awe of nature birthing in front of them gasping at the colored splendor. And others can whine that the sun is too bright. It's the same sunrise with two perspectives.

The energy of the day is surging. I am drawn into the moment it is time to gather my resources and make my investment in the day – to get up and contribute in whatever way I can. I must make my mark, to create the virtuosity from my pallet. How will your masterpiece reveal your inner muse today?

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

All things must pass…

The fragility of the past 24 hours has passed. The acute agony of emotions scattered across the minefield of my soul have left me exhausted. I stroll past the television and catch a glimpse of a student proclaiming the brutality of their early school years. Why do kids do that? How do they get away with it? Don't they realize that these misdemeanors will work in one of two ways: one, they are going to get walloped from someone more sinister or two: they are procuring an enormous karmic debt.

Of course when I was at school I met up with the ugly grunters snarling in my face – wanting to punch my lights out after school. It was a tough start for a fragile little Princess. From the safety of my grandmother's lap swaddling me in kisses and hugs to the rough end of a knuckle sandwich – reality check overload! Anyway, I figure that these bullies don't have the smarts to "get it" they toss out their Dunlop volleys and grow into higher heels and redder lipstick.

Anyway, why is that it when you feel red raw the spiky little rats come gnawing at your self esteem, undermining any semblance of credibility? Their tiny little claws of criticism and sharp gnashing teeth of venomous insecurity strip away your confidence and well being.

The rats are city dwellers. They live in tiny overcrowded holes with masticated remnants of others lives protecting them from their non-compliance in a creative and innovative world. They come out at night to soothe their screaming inadequacy and dose their conscience with mind altering elixirs and seductive lines of powdery regret. If I don't think about it then it just doesn't happen. At some point the blurry line between regret and responsibility dissipates and an inkling of memory emerges and they are lost in the forest of no-hopers. What then? That is the millisecond I would like to confront them and say, reality sucks, doesn't it? We all must live with our conquests, lies and demons. Enjoy the battlefield of revulsion.

The demonic day dream has past. The master has been bedded down once more. A trip into the fresh air and a stroll past the flower boxes dispels the fear of inner rage. Order is stored to the caverns of my emotional doldrums and I am able to sit and smile answering questions and type "appropriate" responses coated in saccharine and polite buds of nicey nice.

What is it that drives us from an intelligent being to screaming banshee? Is it the fingernails clawing at the blackboard in our classroom of life? I entered the birth canal with a skin of vulnerability and now it's as tough as Bessie the elephant's backside.

Somewhere on the underbelly I find a soft spot – it's hard to reconcile. It is a reminder of a delicate heart that resided beneath the cage of my skeletal armour so many moons ago. The fringe of the lotus flower – soft pink and green blossoms beneath rungs of protection in a sacred space – unseen.

Head back, shoulders proud – demeanor in check – yes ready, my Lord I am back into it – a glance over my should and I look at the pathetic reflection of my regret. Shrugging I claim, "All things must pass, here we go again".

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Give me Peace on Earth

The intensity of the Lennon adventure is soothed by the rain outside my bedroom. The fire ravaged regions of Victoria are experiencing a soothing remedy from Mother Nature. Her elixir is cleansing – attempting to wash away the blackened remnants of the fiery hell of the past few weeks.

Our retreat high above the town of Daylesford is replete in cozy comfort with sensual spa sojourns and walls lined with mandalas, Irish poets and fairy magic.

Yesterday I experienced a healing massage from a woman talented in many healing modalities. Her gifts are being integrated into her practice and she is realizing her individualistic potential. The healing room greeted me with a portrait of a familiar presence in my life; an Indian guide who has been with me throughout my own personal alchemy. His eyes always focused on the beauty within while extracting fear and negativity from my mind, body and spirit.

Crystals under the table connected with drawings of Archangels, and other ethereal beings. The massage was a transient intermission into my magical mystery tour. This weekend has been a dream for so long. I've dreamt about it, imagined it outcomes a thousand times over and now I am living it. This dream is culminating with the ultimate healing gift from another human being while I am transported to a soft cozy slumber outside the confines of my body.

The healing over I discussed the experience with my personal Sharman. We exchanged contact details with a promise to share future revelations. Both of us knew that this was the interplay of synchronicity and something rather phenomenal was taking place.

I returned to the retreat and sunk into a spa to immerse myself within the day's events. My husband and brother joined me and we philosophized and surmised our way through the Lennon Legacy. Our opinions' entwined as we extracted tiny morsels of memorabilia and dissected incidents, messages and motives.

We all grieved the loss of a significant human being and were resolved to take his memory and the experiences back into our daily lives. After showers and some personal primping we left the house searching for a wholesome country feed.

The recommended eatery was "bookings only" and we were slightly disappointed – well for a few seconds while we negotiated an alternative. I suggested a take home Indian meal with a homey cozy prediction of warmth and a Concert for George. Why not? We must consider another of John's expats – shouldn't we?
The music of Ravi Shanka uplifted the Indian cuisine and intermingled our snese while we observed the likeness of George's son, Danhi. Throughout the concert we all remarked how Harrison's life took its own twists and turns as he fed his spirit with the sublime of Monty Python – the insight and depth of Give me Peace on Earth to the penultimate of My Sweet Lord.

A musical tapestry of his legacy enchanted us as we devoured lyrics and melodies that marched across our memories signposting significant stages in our own personal journey.

Albert Hall erupted as Ringo appeared on stage in a red beaded jacket. My brother remarked how he would love one just that it. Ringo introduced, Paul (another of George's friends).

You could feel George beam with pride as his mates played tantric memories of his existence. The Concert concluded with rose petals falling from the roof over the stage and crowd. Muscians, friends, collaborators and spiritual masters left the stage with George's family but I felt that the soul of George remained lingering in the euphoria of the celebration.

He was a Piscean man, talented and deep wanting to express his soul urge through words and music. From my perspective, he was a sensitive soul who was swept up in the tidal wave of the mania of the masses.

I've not had a strong personal connection with him over the decades but I've been aware of his messages lingering out along the rim of my personal experiences. I know he loved Australia – at least the Great Barrier Reef. The pristine waters of our coral outcrop soothed his Neptunian soul. I am delighted to know that – I am glad that our country could offer some respite from the clinging claw of fame.

I hope he has found peace in his own spiritual realm enchanted by the prophets and masters who inspired all of us in their wise choices and delicate footprints along the path of enlightenment. I believe we all must find our way – sure influenced by the thought, words and deeds of others while dis-entangling the unworthy negative yarn and weave in the most robust and royal hues into our cloth. Eventually crafting the cloth into a garment that only fits who we are or who we deserve to be – don't you think?

Give me love
Give me love
Give me peace on earth
Give me light
Give me life
Keep me free from birth
Give me hope
Help me cope, with this heavy load
Trying to, touch and reach with,
Heart and soul
George Harrison

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

Lennon Legacy Lives

The trek down to Ballarat revealed cloud kissed forests and haunting reminders of John Lennon. The beast rocked and rolled humming along in tune with the Beatles. An anthology of their lives echoed loudly from a cd stacked with memories. Our arrival at "Art Gallery of Ballarat" was unceremonious. Rain and grey blue clouds framed the somber ambience of the morn.

We walked into the Gallery and brought tickets to a pictorial enclave into John Winston Lennon's life. Our turnstile into the exhibition was depicted by a historic time line beginning at John Lennon's birth, 9 October 1940 to his death a short 40 years later. The sixty intimate portraits lined the walls of the Gallery. Photographs taken, framed and dedicated to John's life were snapped by world class photographers.

It was obvious they wanted to capture the essence or spark of a man who has impacted on our social consciousness as we grappled with the concept of our own existence.

John has visited me numerous times usually when I'd become apathetic about life and my own creative voice. He would drop in and whisper in my ear, "the rest is over Julia – find your voice, pick up your pen and write from the heart". His tone was impatient, instructions short and sharp like he didn't want to waste a skerrick of energy.

Today, I've cried several times. My tears have fallen for a man I've never met in person, and yet know him when he visits in the dark of night or in the glimmer of morning light. It's not that I'm that special or deem to be one of the chosen ones. I figure it's because I am open to receive his soft, spiritual and yet commanding guidance. His spirit lives and his voice echoes in my subconscious.
Over the past few years I've become particularly grateful to Yoko Ono Lennon and her generosity to share this man with us – to give us insight into "their world". Our ravenous voyeurism is sated by the tantalizing tid bits of Lennon and Yoko. I pull back from hurtling down the road of my obsession – I find balance in other creative influences. The void in my soul is supplemented by a ray of hope that his (John Lennon) legacy lives in all of hearts and minds.

Through his music we welcomed him into our homes – playing his songs on our old record players. Then his presence materialized on our black and white TV screens and we devoured tiny pixels of him with a mop top and a message. Then we strolled along Abby Road as he began to awake his world outside Beatlemania. We languished with him and Yoko in the long lie in and woke up with a social hang over from our guilt.

He came here with a mission – a rowdy, restless warrior of peace. He enchanted us with his messages – lured us into his vision and trapped within the confines of his yellow submarine submerged beneath the sea of discontent we began to rediscover our voice – our personal alchemy along the misty mountains of ritualistic ranting.

Psst! It's time to wake up and twist and shout - start our own revolution and refuse to be carried along with the agenda of the masses. We all have a voice. A right for self expression – the ignition of our spark comes after dark with the ghostly visits of our muses and mentors. Sure his spark ignites our soul. After that, we must combust in a direction that emulates our personal collage of experiences.

I know his voice seduces me back into the psychedelic vortex. Once you enter your life will never be the same. But, do we want it to be the same? Or are we up for an organic metamorphosis into a new context – a new era of – us?

Julia Loves John – yeah: yeah: yeah!