Jar of Jems March 2011

G’Day Jems!

Work/Life Balance – reality or myth?
Quote from Wikipedia: Work-life balance is a broad concept including proper prioritizing between "work" (career and ambition) on one hand and "life" (Health, pleasure, leisure, family and spiritual development) on the other. Related, though broader, terms include "lifestyle balance" and "life balance".
Here we are in March. Wow – yes the third month of the year. What an interesting ride? For me, some of the most eye opening events so far in this number four year have been the around the concept of work/life balance. I would like to explore these realisations with you this month, if that is okay?

To open this March cyber-dialogue I will offer a website for you to consider: http://worklifebalance.com/worklifebalancedefined.html . This site suggests some rational explanations and some strategic steps to follow. While I agree with most of the suggestions on this website I am also very mindful of the “human element” in this philosophy. And to offer another tangent I would like to discuss, “what if you find you are out of balance then how do you regain your equilibrium?”

Over the past few weeks I have watched some amazing and talented women unravel with the pressure of work commitments. They have recognised the signs and have chosen different strategies for dealing with the overload and eventual fallout from this imbalance. Some have chosen a sabbatical and others have decided that retreat was far more civilised and appropriate for them. I honour them for recognising the signs and respecting themselves in the next important step to reclaim their spirit.

Jem, what drives us? Why do we think we should throw everything into the gullet of the beast (aka: career)? And why are we surprised when the beast chews us up and then spits us out?

I see the beast as our tormentor; our seductive aspect of our over burdened closet of responsibility. It is an effortless dance with the beast. We feel titillated by its rewards – the ego stroking accomplishments of promotion and or validation of our commitment to enter the amphitheatre.

I see myself in the eyes of these women. I see and feel their pain. I see their resistance to acknowledge their divine choice to quickstep into the claws of temptation for just one more twirl around the dance floor.

Jem, as you know I am blessed in my life. I have a balanced work/life regimen. I am determined not to dance for too long with the beast – otherwise the calluses will return. Yes, I have been seduced by the beast. I have trudged an exhausted path and forged some degree of respect. I have taken the wrong turn and driven in tireless formation around the round-a-bout a few thousand times. Now I am aware of the indicators – I can hear the click; click; click of the turn left at your peril – turn right and you will be emancipated.

If I have learned anything from my seductive partnership in the pride of erin is that timing is everything. Work/life balance exists only if we truly want it too.

Take care of you My Friend, you are loved and honoured beyond the realm of your imagination.

I look forward to your perspective,

Love always,

Jar


Dear JAR,


Greetings, my Friend! Truly, truly, Timing is Everything! For you to bring up this topic at this time is rather fortuitous, because for me this past Monday was the first day on a new job. Although I have been doing many things this past year, I was not gainfully employed, and felt rather challenged by the lack of a regular pay check. This will be an interesting transition, as now my family will have to pick up the slack and fill in the blanks of home maintenance that my former schedule used to occupy. So our balancing act must begin at home!


My new job began in a very uplifted manner. I was welcomed with open arms, and encouraged to not get stressed or overwhelmed by the amount of information that I needed to learn and process. They said the knowledge will accumulate in time. I am finding the work in this law firm to be very interesting, and it is tempting to work right through lunch. However, I remembered the vow I made to myself: to never again ignore my soul’s needs – and so I make myself go out at lunchtime and walk a mile, to get some exercise, fresh air and fresh perspective. I also take the time to eat a healthy, nutritious lunch in a relaxed and mindful manner, and consciously practice leaving the work aside for awhile. Since this job appeared to me after a long drought, I had time to reassess my priorities during that dry spell. Now it is time to put those reassessments into action.


This seems to be a time in my life when the flowers of fortune are blooming profusely. The blessings are plentiful, and the gratitude I feel is even more profuse. I spent many years behind the curtain, because I chose to be a Mom, first and foremost. I’ve always worked at little jobs, here and there, but designed my schedule so I could be there for my growing daughter. I put my personal plan in a mind-vault, to be taken out on occasion for updates, but the vision was to fully launch it at a later time. I do not regret one moment of those delightful, almost-17 years – my daughter is a wonderful human being, and I feel fulfilled knowing that she has healthy self-esteem and is wise beyond her years. Now that she will be leaving for college, my personal plan has been retrieved, washed, crisply ironed, and is now ready for the launch! The doors are opening, and I am confidently walking through.


I honestly don’t think I’ve ever dreamed of being in a corporate environment – that envisioned situation actually seemed to me more of a nightmare! Whether it is true or not, to me it seemed too complex and cutthroat, and I envisioned myself feeling overwhelmed by the demands and deadlines, and also the cliques that inevitably form. The acquisition of money was never a driving force for me, as much as inner fulfilment and the desire to be acknowledged for my contributions. And in my dream those qualities would preferably be experienced in an enlightened scenario of my own design. I am grateful that I now have a good paying job in a small company, and that the boss chooses his employees on the premise that, “Anyone can learn to do the job; it’s how people get along that count!” I feel deeply blessed that my dream has come true.




It is a treasure to know that you are also in a state of blessed joy in your life ~ we can give thanks together! I am also in gratitude for our friendship, which seems to have taken on a life of its own. It is like a favoured pet that loves to be pampered, groomed, well-fed and paid special attention to! I hope this little offering brings a bit of chewing contentment to our little Pookie.  Until next time...


Happy March!


Pax,
JEM