26 Days to go – Day XVII – Head banging

Confucius reminds us: “If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed; if in terms of ten years plant trees; if in terms of one hundred years, teach the people.”

Have you ever been too grumpy to write? Have you ever been seething – so much so it has clouded your vision? Have you be so disappointed in your current state of affairs that you fee so bloody minded in your pursuit of anger? When do we stop banging our heads against a brick wall? Why do we continue until our brains are mush? Stop!!!

It’s day 17 on my detox and my weight has not dropped for two weeks – disappointment city. I feel let down and I feel cheated by my own body.

An old would is gaping in my soul and I feel all I am offered is salt to rub in. I feel battered and bruised by my current situation – however, I can’t help but blame myself for my role in this violent relationship. I am not being abused physically of course; it is directed emotionally and spiritually. My participation is that I am still allowing it to happen.

It’s a 10/1 day – endings and beginnings and it is time to stop this abusive love affair. I must rescue any remnants of my self esteem and move on. There is no other alternative. When your pleas fall on deaf ears and sign language does not work then give them the final sign and hit the highway and don’t come back no more, no more.

The Tower represents the lightning bolts out of the blue; the constant barrage of slights and toxic javelins.

Judgement is rebirth loud and strong – step away from the oppression and float with the Angels toward salvation.

The Magician taunts me with his promise of infinity; the upside down number eight beckons me toward destinations unknown. It’s a brave new world out there Julia, don’t be thwarted by the condemnation of others.

The wheel of fortune braces me in a crash position – ready for the fall out of recriminations of the past – it’s not up to you to change others it’s up to you to survive.

Yoda’s wise words echo in my conscious mind – “Try not. Do or do not. there is no try!” The stage is set, to teach by doing rather than the circular arguments and declarations of worthiness.

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

35 Days to go – contentment and peace – Buddha

The intensity of the Aries moon has passed and now the moon has settled into the Venus-ruled Taurean phase. Taurean’s are practical and very sensual people they love good food, pampering – the banquet of life really.

It is a 10/1 day – a day of endings and beginnings. I feel this energy fill my life with the end of the harsh reality of the detox. There have been times over the past week when I’ve really struggled with withdrawal from coffee and giving up some other delectable pleasures – not to mention the headaches – but I have pursued and now I feel good.

Temperance offers an omniscient perspective guiding me above the sea of adversity. She is a beacon of hope. Her poise and elegance is compelling – encouraging me to leave the chaos of my emotions and float with her on an air of tranquillity.

The Moon facilitates creativity. She is representative of the arts. Her presence in my life is the orb of inspiration – encouraging me to honour my creative journey.

The World is my oyster. Venus, Goddess of love, beauty and wealth surrounds me in an abundant garland of riches. My mantra is: I am healthy, wealthy and wise. Her vulnerability captures my imagination and takes me to far away destinations.

The Sun is peeping through my window. The grey, volatiles skies of yesterday have exploded volumes of water and now that the storms have passed we a greeted with clarity. The sky is crystal clear and the view is pristine and fresh. My outer world reflects this current phase of my inner kingdom. The rough and tumble clashes of the internal torment have eased and now I can take a long, deep, cleansing breathe. I feel blessed in many ways and now it is time to rest.

Buddha once said:

Health is the greatest gift,
Contentment the greatest wealth,
Faithfulness the best relationship

These words spoken so long ago are the mantra for my day. I am at peace – I am enjoying the moment. This is the instant of realisation that I am the creator of my world and I am satisfied with my creation.

Peace and Love,
Julia Ashton-Sayers