31 days to go – day XII - Untying the knots

“Seek the wisdom that will untie your knot, see the path that demands your whole being.” Rumi

The Lunar Moon sits silently in her 9th house. She pulls up a cushion and in a composed demeanour folds one leg under another and contemplates her naval. Rumi’s quote (above) begs the question; must we always seek the path that demands our whole being?

As part of the Pluto in Leo generation I’ve often felt the devotion to transformation. In some respects I’ve felt that I am unconsciously drawn into situations where the secret mission is to create change (Pluto in Leo in the 12th house). In most respects it is not about transformation for others instead the metamorphosis within vibrates out into my environment.

Over my life I’ve undertaken significant changes – to my appearance, attitude, friends, jobs, and living arrangements. The driving force of my question is two fold: curiosity and the desire for challenge. Outcomes dictate that I am in a loop of constant evolution. This is fine of course until I push the boundaries of my relationships. I live or work with – family doesn’t count as they are stuck with me – sorry L

This life of mind is always in a state of flux. Why? Because I am in it! Yes, I drive the agenda (most times) – living a multi-faceted existence – the reality or normalcy drops in and the expectations are set – the mild-mannered business suit is peeled away and the outer layers reflect the inner gypsy. I suppose that this is “normal” for most people – maybe?

I once read about a postman in England who lived a double life. A diligent public servant by day and then at night he was a prolific writer. Can you glean how he lived this life of duplicity? One moment he is delivering letters through an inanimate object and the next he is the hero in a duel with the latest villain – how ripe is that? I suppose we all have the Superman complex going on?

The Chariot collects my dreams and hurtles them down the road in two directions.

Hermit warns, watch your step Girlie – it is a rocky world out there!

The Moon tickles my fancy – facilitating creative pursuits – pick up your pen and open your heart. A journey revealed is a healing wand. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. It’s easy to be human J

The Lovers demands respect and communication, equality and integrity in love; a delicate balance of loving yourself and significant others

It’s day 12 of my detox and I am preparing for the next phase: renew – this phase is about repair and renew my digestive lining and replace bad bacteria with beneficial ones called probiotics. These good bacteria have a number of healthy actions, including controlling the growth of bad bacteria, reducing inflammation and helping me absorb nutrients effectively. Once established a small army inside my body will protect my digesting and seek to remove invading organisms – lovely!

In honour of Stage: 1 remove – and having a body scrub and vischy shower and then off to my favourite hairdresser (in the whole wide world). She is a gorgeous creative Leo woman whom I wish I could pick up after each session and take home with me. She is honest and decisive. When I sit in her chair and suggest a radical change she gently guides me back to a hair do I can live with. As I leave the salon I consider – it wasn’t what I asked for but it works. Pure magic!

The dye is cast for my day; ritualistic expectations and interludes of pampering – perfect balance. It’s the weekend and a time to relax, indulge – create the world you want in the time you’ve got – enjoy and don’t waste a minute. For we all know that the business suits present themselves far too quickly!

Peace and love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

33 Days to go – habit forming

The Moon in Taurus links lovingly to luscious Venus today enticing us down the road of indulgence, I am aware but not alarmed. To overcome this delicious seduction I’ve decided to fill my day with long term fantasies of how I will look and feel in the future when my detox is over. I am off to the shops today – yes a day off to take care of necessary personal business, errands, a little retail therapy, maybe a little spray at the perfume counter and finally, the perfect end to the day with a MLD (manual lymphatic drainage).

I’ve deliberately booked a MLD treatment for today as a way of assisting the detoxification and as another reminder to stay committed to my goal. It’s day 10 and the shrill of toxins leaving my body is down to a dull chant. I feel that I’ve passed a milestone at seven days but now the grove is happening, the resistance has progressed to acceptance and habits (good and healthy) are forming. More importantly, the food pushers have moved the rhetoric on to other questions, “so what are you going to do after the detox?”

Good question: and my response is, make a conscious effort to embed this healthy lifestyle in my future maintenance program. I am sure that I would find it difficult to be so regimented for the rest of my life. However, if I feel the benefits are giving me the natural high e.g. feeling good, skin glowing, clothes fit with ease etc. etc., then perhaps this transition phase will be my life choice.

Something happened yesterday which made me think that living like this would be a good option. Some said, “wow your eyes are so blue and are glistening with a vibrant glow. I thought, no, can’t be and I looked in the mirror and the grey green shades of blue had turned into a brilliant blue. I was astounded. In such a short time I felt totally amazed with such a significant change. These are the moments I will think about today.

Another change that took place was the desire to read. Over the past ten days or so I’ve not picked up a book. Sure, I am constantly reading at work all day in fact I read from a computer screen – but this is work and I must do just that. Sadly, I’ve simply not wanted to read anything for fun or enjoyment. However, last night I grabbed a book that has been sitting on my small book stand in the bedroom. It is a book I had brought after the John Lennon Exhibition in Ballarat. The book is: John Lennon: The Life – by Philip Norman.

The book is the size of two house bricks but of course the subject matter is compelling. I picked up the book last night and digested every word with enthusiasm. It is an easy read and most certainly very well written. I found myself sated by the short journey into John Winston’s life.

Previously, I was aware of his tumultuous childhood. The uncertainaity and the chaos of family life had left him wanting that sublime connect with his mother, Julia. I feel sad as I turned the pages of his youth and considered how thee events had etched addictive behaviours into his psyche. The gap between reality and fantasy was a painful canyon in his mind.

I thought about my own life and how my behaviour had impacted on those I love. This made me even sadder. I, too, was an unsatisfied and reckless “Julia” and now I wonder what damage I have caused to others. I tried to forgive myself and make amends in my higher consciousness. Have I healed the scars of imperfection? All I can say is, Julia is a work in progress!

“If you are respectful of habit, constantly honouring the worthy, four things increase:
Long life,
Beauty,
Happiness,
Strength

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

34 Days to go – Possibilities

Over the past few days I’ve seen lots of numbers presenting in triple e.g. 111; 222; 333; 555. Today we have a calendar date of 999. Usually the triple or quad presentations are indicators of Angelic communication. I’m not certain what the 999 represents – perhaps I will tell you tomorrow. Ironically, it is day 9 of my detox – how wonderfully spooky!

Number 9 usually suggests empowerment and resolution. However, today’s date is: 9th, 9th month and year 2009 (11/2) = 2 the day calculates as a number two day; the number two is about partnerships and agreements perhaps (even stretching the possibilities here) a day of cooperation and collaboration – how nice?

I feel the blessing of Venus invigorating me with her glittering presence in my spread. She shines like a star dancing in the scattered rainbows across my room. I feel light, bright and breezy. Apollo the Sun God plays his golden harp as the lovers embrace – life is good do not waste a moment.

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

35 Days to go – contentment and peace – Buddha

The intensity of the Aries moon has passed and now the moon has settled into the Venus-ruled Taurean phase. Taurean’s are practical and very sensual people they love good food, pampering – the banquet of life really.

It is a 10/1 day – a day of endings and beginnings. I feel this energy fill my life with the end of the harsh reality of the detox. There have been times over the past week when I’ve really struggled with withdrawal from coffee and giving up some other delectable pleasures – not to mention the headaches – but I have pursued and now I feel good.

Temperance offers an omniscient perspective guiding me above the sea of adversity. She is a beacon of hope. Her poise and elegance is compelling – encouraging me to leave the chaos of my emotions and float with her on an air of tranquillity.

The Moon facilitates creativity. She is representative of the arts. Her presence in my life is the orb of inspiration – encouraging me to honour my creative journey.

The World is my oyster. Venus, Goddess of love, beauty and wealth surrounds me in an abundant garland of riches. My mantra is: I am healthy, wealthy and wise. Her vulnerability captures my imagination and takes me to far away destinations.

The Sun is peeping through my window. The grey, volatiles skies of yesterday have exploded volumes of water and now that the storms have passed we a greeted with clarity. The sky is crystal clear and the view is pristine and fresh. My outer world reflects this current phase of my inner kingdom. The rough and tumble clashes of the internal torment have eased and now I can take a long, deep, cleansing breathe. I feel blessed in many ways and now it is time to rest.

Buddha once said:

Health is the greatest gift,
Contentment the greatest wealth,
Faithfulness the best relationship

These words spoken so long ago are the mantra for my day. I am at peace – I am enjoying the moment. This is the instant of realisation that I am the creator of my world and I am satisfied with my creation.

Peace and Love,
Julia Ashton-Sayers

36 Days to go – a long road to hoe

The gentle pitter patter on my window is delightful. This liquid gold is the perfect remedy for the dry and dusty drought ridden alpine region.

It’s a number nice day – a day of empowerment and resolution. Mercury goes retrograde today so it is a time to rethink propositions and carefully consider decisions before acting upon them. It’s funny but I don’t fear this phase instead I respect the backward movement of this tiny planet and capitalise on this time as a reflective period. With my Moon and Jupiter in Gemini in the ninth house I consider the retro-phase as a planning time rather than racing ahead making choices I may one day regret.

It is day VII of the detox and I feel fine – a little like the Beatles song, “baby’s in love with me and I feel fine.” My body is in acceptance mode, there doesn’t seem to be any real nagging complaints. The turmoil of the headache from hell has passed and I have a few strands of cotton-wool floating around in my skull. The benefit right now is the clarity of mind and the energy to get things done.

Yesterday for example I swear I piled three days of tasks into one small day – then went to bed early to linger in the quietness of my room. It was lovely to meditate and focus on my breath, see goals that I am working toward and envisage myself in my new wardrobe of clothes and how I will look.

Prometheus suggests going with the flow. The Universe is supporting this phase of elimination. The Devil stomps in and reminds me of my commitment to re-evaluate my choices – relinquish the bonds of fear and I will be set free. Hermes, my ally facilitates the awareness of my innate abilities and how they will carry me toward my destiny. I have all of the tools necessary to carve out a magical future.

The 42 day quest for detoxification and rejuvenation of my mind, body and spirit is underway. I have stepped over some road bumps and excavated a couple of pot holes but I am confident that I posses essential criteria for navigation and ultimately success. It’s a long road to hoe – but I’ve got the implements to go, go, go!

Peace and Love,

Julia

38 Days to go – untangling the cotton wool head

The Empress and Emperor hold hands while the sun captures my crystals overhead. The rays shimmer into miniature rainbows across my page as I write.

The cotton-wool in my head is dissipating with the microfibers relinquishing the claws of coffee withdrawal. My thoughts are tinged with clarity and my sentences have forged ahead into the full stop – period. I want to savour this moment and yet I am berating myself for the coffee addiction and previous poor food choices.

Why have I allowed myself to gulp down oceans of coffee and masticate tonnes of food that was not good for me? I don’t want to sound pious but really – what was I thinking? Probably wasn’t really thinking at all. Why does it take us so long to realise we are poisoning our bodies with denial.

I can hear myself espouse parables of denunciation, “one slice won’t hurt!” or, “just one more”. I don’t know why I’ve done this to myself – my own plea in mitigation is that I am human and I bring all of my frailties and complexities to the dinner table.

I have chosen defiance and more excuses than enthusiasm as part of my daily rhetoric and motto. Now, the shadows of denial are shifting and I am dancing in the rainbows.

Today is a number seven day of inner reflection and searching for that inner wisdom (we are all meant to have). This philosophical sojourn is undertaken with the shovel of discernment.

It is Saturday and I am embracing the lustre of the morn – the freedom to spend some precious moments with me.

Question: does the romantic soul even grow up? Do we ever get passed the prospect of a happy ending? Why is a grown woman still yearning for the girl and boy living happily ever after scenario? Is this naive? My quest is to find the answer to these questions and more and get back to you.

Last night I had a dream about Severus Snape. I was in his classroom and there were snakes slithering around the floor. I was wearing a white satin nightgown and sitting cross legged on his desk. I offered him an apple and he glared at me and with a twinkle in his eye he turned the fruit into a bunch of flowers. He wrapped his cape around his body and I could hear him say, “I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses.” I replied, “I thought I was here to learn the dark arts.”

Not sure what it means but interesting don’t you think?

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

40 Days – up against it!

It’s the third day of my detox and I feel awful. The toxins are swirling around in my body scurrying to find an appropriate exit. I feel nauseated, blocked, grumpy and even teary. On the other hand I am enjoying the food I’m eating and the water and herbal teas I am drinking. I feel that with every conscious breath I am taking I am one step closer to my divine self.

It’s strange how the detox is taking over my life. The word detox and all of its repercussions and outcomes permeates my conversations. I’ve even noticed how my work colleagues are talking about detoxification – it’s downright contagious.

Honestly, between you and me I don’t think that the change in dietary regime or the commitment to a detox has formed a habit in my daily routine. However, I feel the pull of conscious living as an aphrodisiac to my future dedication. I have a feeling that during these six weeks it will not only be toxins that will be eliminated from my body there will be many other blockages tossed aside.

Even though I anguish over the loss of the smell of my morning brew all things considered I’m peaking over the crest of the first hurdle in this 42 day climb.

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

41 Days – a realisation

It is a number four day perfect to lay foundations for the future. It is also another reality check day. Day 2 of the detox has given me some food for though – pardon the pun. Well actually it is not so much the food that I am craving – it is coffee. Yes, I feel as though I have the coffee monster within chanting – “I want coffee; coffee; coffee; coffee”. I have a blinding headache and my head feels like it has been inhabited by the cotton wool goblin. MoonHawk http://www.jestacom.biz/newsite/ezine/natural_living.htm has promised me that I will have clarity in the coming weeks and I guess that is what I am craving – the internal spring clean and the feeling of well being.

I’ve been concerned for a long time about my toxic living. It is not that I have many bad habits – I don’t smoke and I occasionally drink socially – the food I eat is healthy and I am consciously aware of my thoughts. What I crave most from the outcome of this program is a rite of passage for a healthier lifestyle.

Already, I’ve noticed subtle changes in my thoughts. Yesterday, I considered my reading material – I had some books that were given to me. They were a genre I had not read for some time. I read one book and the plot was predictable and frustrating as the main characters had not arrived at an obvious conclusion for many chapters. I thought, why am I reading these books if they are not giving me the information I desire or a positive buzz? I gave thanks for the opportunity to read them and I’ve packed them away.

Now, I’ve got my book, “Chiron: The rainbow bridge between the inner and outer planets”, by Barbara Hand Clow on my bedside table. This is the book I will indulge my senses in while relaxing.

As I was making these decisions about my reading material I thought that we form habits and daily rituals unconsciously watching TV or listening to music. Are they always good for us? Do they make us feel good or not so good? Now, is a time of making those conscious choices?

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

42 Days – a new beginning

It is the first day of Spring and to mark this season I’ve decided to rejuvenate my body with a three phased detox program. So, today is the first day of a 42 day commitment to detox my internal organs. This program has been designed by my herbalist, MoonHawk http://www.jestacom.biz/newsite/ezine/natural_living.htm and under her guidance I will tackle this six week program in a three-phased approach:

Stage: 1 – Remove unfriendly bacteria, yeasts, parasites that may be living in my digestive system (yuck).

Stage: 2 – Renew and repair my digestive lining and replace bad bacteria with beneficial ones called, “probiotics”.

Stage: 3 – Release – support and enhance the capacity of the liver to take wastes from the bloodstream, break them down and them remove them via the elimination system.

This commitment marks another healing journey for my transformation of health and wellbeing. The first phase to loose weight was undertaken 18 months ago. I’ve achieved that goal and feel fantastic for the drop in numerous dress sizes and numbers on the scales.

As an official start to the detox program I’ve got on the scales this morning. Alarmingly I’ve crept on a couple of kilos over the past few weeks. This is no surprise of course as I’ve had gormandised myself on the premise that, “I’m starting my detox so I will feast now and purge later!” Not real smart is it?

Of course there was a holiday last week and who can diet on holidays? Not me, obviously! Today is a reality check and I am going to own the numbers. The plan is to become healthier and drop a few kilos on the way – I will share these experiences with you in my journal.

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers