Hello and welcome,HAD I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,Enwrought with golden and silver light,The blue and the dim and the dark clothsOf night and light and the half light,I would spread the cloths under your feet:But I, being poor, have only my dreams;I have spread my dreams under your feet;Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
W.B. Yeats (1865–1939)"He Wishes For the Cloths of Heaven"from the Collected Works of W.B. Yeats
The published content of my journals is a desire to share a part of my story with the world. It is not an egotistic foray of one woman’s perspective rather an insight into the dialogue with my soul evolution.
Throughout history we have been fascinated with other’s people’s perceptions drinking in their view of the world. Anne Frank comes to mind immediately. Her imagination and recall of the one of the most horrific phases in humanity is legendary. In recent times we’ve been invited into the personal documentaries of modern day poets, singers and artistic performers. I’m not saying that my journals are as riveting or important in historical recording instead I suggest that perhaps one day one person will read these books and the chapters within will resonate with their journey.
I’ve written in a diary or journal as a young girl. I can recall that at 7 years of age I began to scribble down thoughts, words, observations and sometimes childish attempts at poetry. The diary was white and locked with a key. As I’ve grown the lock has been broken and now the entries are available for the entire world to read.
Since I’ve landed in this classroom of life I’ve had a sense that I am here in some capacity as an agent for change. Born under the sign of Scorpio supports the philosophy of transformation and with a strong Gemini Moon/Jupiter (ninth house of publishing) alignment recording these inner revelations has been an integral part of my journey.
I’ve been labeled a trail blazer, spiritual counselor, teacher and healer. While all these titles have brought a certain amount of satisfaction they don’t encompass all that I am – or want to be for that matter.
I am an emotional creator with a lofty adoration for visionary splendor. While writing I can leave my body to take in the view, transcending normality and the restrictions of fear. After the euphoric escapism I (sometimes) enter the darkness of an emotional cauldron battling my demons. It sort of sets up a love/hate relationship with my muse however, out of the darkness brings in the epiphany of my muse. She is fragile, bold, courageous and sometimes sad. She is my trusted confidante and my greatest teacher. These e-journals are some of the dialogues we’ve shared.
These words spoken to my soul spark the passion, sensuality, sensitivity, conflict and express the need for the ongoing desire for love, commitment to my muse. Through metaphor I am consistently inventing a new language of thought. These thoughts support the unraveling of multi-colored yarn preparing for the weaving of a new tapestry.
At times in my life I’ve felt as if I didn’t fit it – like I had landed on another planet without a guide book or interpretative code. Perhaps this feeling comes from the awareness that I have not found my niche – maybe that niche hasn’t been created.
What I do know is that I must nurture my heart and soul as this keeps my creativity alive. I must love what I do and feel what I do with all of my heart. This commitment is inherent in my daily ritual of conversing with my soul.
I need to explore the heights and depths of human evolution. My goal is to get through this life with a good heart and soul. I must ingest the data (experience and emotions) that surrounds me and imbue it into my personal alchemy. The pain and hurt of the injustices are revealed in my journals. This cathartic process reveals the rebounding from the tortured states of awareness, integrating these observations and a human attempt of rationalization.
My journals describe my own changes. I assume that you will be going through similar transformations. As I peel the layers of my soul experience and offer them to you to share I do so with love, respect and humanity. Enter into my internal dialogue if you choose.
Love, Peace, Harmony and Happiness,
Julia Ashton-Sayers
http://www.jestacom.biz/
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