Thursday, September 10, 2009

33 Days to go – habit forming



The Moon in Taurus links lovingly to luscious Venus today enticing us down the road of indulgence, I am aware but not alarmed. To overcome this delicious seduction I’ve decided to fill my day with long term fantasies of how I will look and feel in the future when my detox is over. I am off to the shops today – yes a day off to take care of necessary personal business, errands, a little retail therapy, maybe a little spray at the perfume counter and finally, the perfect end to the day with a MLD (manual lymphatic drainage).

I’ve deliberately booked a MLD treatment for today as a way of assisting the detoxification and as another reminder to stay committed to my goal. It’s day 10 and the shrill of toxins leaving my body is down to a dull chant. I feel that I’ve passed a milestone at seven days but now the grove is happening, the resistance has progressed to acceptance and habits (good and healthy) are forming. More importantly, the food pushers have moved the rhetoric on to other questions, “so what are you going to do after the detox?”

Good question: and my response is, make a conscious effort to embed this healthy lifestyle in my future maintenance program. I am sure that I would find it difficult to be so regimented for the rest of my life. However, if I feel the benefits are giving me the natural high e.g. feeling good, skin glowing, clothes fit with ease etc. etc., then perhaps this transition phase will be my life choice.

Something happened yesterday which made me think that living like this would be a good option. Some said, “wow your eyes are so blue and are glistening with a vibrant glow. I thought, no, can’t be and I looked in the mirror and the grey green shades of blue had turned into a brilliant blue. I was astounded. In such a short time I felt totally amazed with such a significant change. These are the moments I will think about today.

Another change that took place was the desire to read. Over the past ten days or so I’ve not picked up a book. Sure, I am constantly reading at work all day in fact I read from a computer screen – but this is work and I must do just that. Sadly, I’ve simply not wanted to read anything for fun or enjoyment. However, last night I grabbed a book that has been sitting on my small book stand in the bedroom. It is a book I had brought after the John Lennon Exhibition in Ballarat. The book is: John Lennon: The Life – by Philip Norman.

The book is the size of two house bricks but of course the subject matter is compelling. I picked up the book last night and digested every word with enthusiasm. It is an easy read and most certainly very well written. I found myself sated by the short journey into John Winston’s life.

Previously, I was aware of his tumultuous childhood. The uncertainaity and the chaos of family life had left him wanting that sublime connect with his mother, Julia. I feel sad as I turned the pages of his youth and considered how thee events had etched addictive behaviours into his psyche. The gap between reality and fantasy was a painful canyon in his mind.

I thought about my own life and how my behaviour had impacted on those I love. This made me even sadder. I, too, was an unsatisfied and reckless “Julia” and now I wonder what damage I have caused to others. I tried to forgive myself and make amends in my higher consciousness. Have I healed the scars of imperfection? All I can say is, Julia is a work in progress!

“If you are respectful of habit, constantly honouring the worthy, four things increase:
Long life,
Beauty,
Happiness,
Strength

Peace and Love,

Julia Ashton-Sayers

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